Researcher - would you like to help?

Hello, I am Rebecca Ozanne, a PhD student from the University of Central Lancashire, and Forensic Psychologist in Training; I am completing research looking at the experiences of victims who have been abused in institutional/in care settings.  This includes sexual, physical or emotional abuse that took place whilst residing in an institution such as boarding school, residential care, prison, borstal or any form of secure care.  If you have experienced this form of abuse when you were under the age of 18, and feel comfortable and willing to write about these experiences anonymously for the purpose of this study, please click the link below. This will redirect you to my participant information sheet where you will be given more information.  You will not be asked to name abusers or to provide your name. I am interested in the impact of these experiences on you only, not in identifying details. Clearly, considering your abuse may be distressing for you and the information sheet will provide you with some sources of support to contact, should you need to. As some of the information shared may be sensitive it is suggested that a private computer is used and that you log out when the session is complete. Ethics for this study have been granted by the University of Central Lancashire. https://www.esurveycreator.co.uk/s/incareabuse

A Small Boat

I have a parasite inside me
A poison in my veins
I'm being eaten alive from deep inside
And I'm shackled by heavy chains

I have a sickness taking over
Sometimes it's touch and go
My life support is struggling
Recovery is looking slow

The stench in my own air is foul
It's creeping through my skin
I'm awake inside a nightmare
Where do I begin

I have a darkness in my existance
One that cannot be removed
There are muddied thoughts within
A bleak and intrusive view

Then there below the surface
Hidden beneath the chaotic din
The tiniest flicker of flame
A brightness from within

I've discovered the greatest treasure
On my travels within me
When i trip and fall into the darkness
That black and grimey sea

I have found that I can swim
That I can keep myself afloat
Admittedly no mighty ship
Just a modest little rowing boat

And so I shall set sail through this turmoil
Battle storms and monstrous waves of dread
Knowing that as long as I keep rowing
There are gentler waters ahead

Not everyday can promise smooth sailing
The sea is not always calm and still
My little boat will be rocked and overturned
I will struggle some days, I will

So when those days come
When the sea is just too strong
I can throw down my anchor and rest a while
To gather some strength and carry on

By Leanne

Poem

Research study - invitation to women to participate

Message from Kate Madden:

We would like to invite you to take part in a research study which is being done by Royal Holloway, University of London. The study aims to understand more about women who have been sexually assaulted, and what factors relate to how often they intend to and do attend their cervical smear. It is all done online and is completely anonymous. More details can be found at this link:

https://rhulpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0MJX0CH8e7OnGg5

Death friend or foe

When you are young you don’t feel the strain of life

You are full of passion; which runs through you rife

The next love seems all you look for in your search

To find a perfect mate who really gets you

But what if you have lived your life in a fog

To find your self is now and long over do

Searching, searching for self and a match

Settling for second best becomes your catch

Unhappiness and disappointment become common place

Never to win this lost and lonely race

Pain and deterioration of body and soul

Becomes all that is left in this fruit bowl

I have given people and life my all
So when death comes I will be ready for that call 

Strength

We are all on a journey and are constantly being told that we are strong…. 
we probably don’t believe it.

We all regard strength as that physical force as in punching someone. 

We ignore the other meaning - the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.

We are that strength - 

We continue to speak to a counsellor every week - some travelling a long way.

We cry, we agonise,  we try to make sense of that thing that brings us to the haven of safety that is the Sue Lambert Trust.

We listen to the other voice in the room and try and make him or her understand.

BUT

We miss in our tears and our pain the one real fact.

We are able to speak to a counsellor and open our minds and hearts and yes, to cry like babies and to try different things and people and places.

BECAUSE

WE ARE STRONG.

One day we will see it and smile ……. and continue on the journey.

(SLT Client)

Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse

The Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse (IICSA) has launched a consultation on the impact of child sexual abuse on victims and survivors and access to and use of support services. 

The consultation is open to anyone who is a victim or survivor of child sexual abuse, and also to those who may wish to complete the survey on behalf of a victim/survivor. 

The consultation will examine a series of issues relating to victims’ and survivors’ experiences of support services. There are questions dealing with a range of issues connected to the impact of abuse and support service provision. We want to know more about experiences of the different types of support and the differences in the way they are experienced by children and adults.  

The confidential survey will be open until 12th September following this are report will be published. The easiest and quickest way to get in touch is by filling in the form here.

If you would like to see the list of questions included in the online form you can view these on our IICSA Victim and Survivor consultation document.

Bitterness and anger a potent mix

Bitterness and anger arrowed in; a potent mix

It has taken years plus buckets full of tears to fix

Repressed anger becomes a poison to self

It had been put away on a distant shelf

Covered in dust poison circulated to harm

Twisting through body; leg and arm

Brain in a distant lonely fog

Life a struggle through a stinking bog

Wanting to believe that happiness may come

But forever it alludes and my race has almost run

An artist streak killed at a young age

Instead regret and a long and painful rage

To kick and punch to vent the pain

Of the lonely child seems in vain

Discover Your Voice and It Shall Be Heard

8 simple words seen on a piece of wood that spoke to me and grew.

A week later, the piece of wood was in my house and the words continued to grow.

Then days later, a new strength and the words came and I HAD discovered my voice - for the first time ever.

The best thing???   People did hear and ARE helping.

Its not easy…..  but it is helping….

(Sue Lambert Client)

This book is really great!

This little comic book is possibly the best thing I've read on trauma. It cuts to the chase and explains very simply how trauma works, the impact it has on people and how to deal with it. It takes about 30 minutes to read, cover to cover, and is the sort of thing you will want to share and to refer back to. If only all science could be explained this simply! See an extract and reviews on Amazon.

Sexual Violence Support and Education Website

This Canadian website provides lots of useful information. Click here to browse.

MP moves colleagues to tears with account of how she was raped at age 14

Tips for Friends and Family of Rape & Sexual Abuse Survivors

It can be hard to know what to do to help a friend or family member who has been raped or sexually assaulted. Here are some tips on what to do (and what not to do) and how to cope yourself. 

Read on>>

Client poem - Decor

Décor

I papered over chasms not cracks

This is why life had so many lacks

I live in a world with no colours except blacks

I

Play the game and hide my sorrow behind their backs

I shelve it on empty cold racks

Sometimes the emotion and pain drips to the floor

Then I have to retreat and struggle to close the door

from C.

Counsellor's poem

The Counselling Chair

A worried mind, a head full of fears,

How should I be? Do I hold back the tears?

This person unknown, hearing my woes

What do I say? How much to disclose?

She sits just in front in a chair of her own,

Her voice welcomes me with a gentle tone

A caring concern for whatever I share,

I start to feel safe as I sit in my chair

My voice starts to quiver as my first words are spoken,

My thoughts seem to scream, PLEASE FIX ME I’M BROKEN!

She listens intently, doesn’t judge what’s discussed,

Finally someone I feel I can trust

We meet again and more frequently,

I start to feel different, more open and free

She seems to understand things from my point of view,

She knows what it’s like to be in my shoes